Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Ushering in a new year

It appears as though my birthday is upon me again, in a day or two.  While normally, I'm pretty 'meh-how-did-this-happen-again-and-where-the-hell-did-the-year-go?' about my birthdays (girl's getting older and older!),  this year, I'm kind of excited to send out the old and usher in the new, at least symbolically.  The past year has been fraught with landmarks, decisions and processing that were all on the, you know, agonizing and terrifying side.    Separation, applying for grad school and grants, really, really rough kid times, isolation, loss, a whole lotta therapy.  You know, THAT kind of year.  Some years are like that, I guess (even in Australia - in The Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day way;)).  And so, I am feeling the need to shake it off a bit, I guess.

But as my 36 draws to a close, I am also recognizing all of the learning and growing and changing this year has brought me.   I accepted that constant feeling of floundering and learned to give myself a bit of a break.  I found my feet.  I took chances.  I met new, wonderful people who turned out to be great, great friends.  I accepted the scholarship offer to go back to school.  So - as with all things - this past year has been both intensely painful and a time of growth and change.

While I am not so foolish as to think that the painful growth and change is over (is it ever?).   There is housing to find, money to pull out of my ass, and let's not forget becoming the world's older grad student ;)  Nevertheless, I am eager to recognize my leaps and bounds from the past year, and very, very eager to welcome in 37.  Because if there's one thing this past year has taught me, it's that I am one hell of a tough cookie.  So I'm gonna greet 37 dancing my pants off, shaking off 36 (see ya!), celebrating my survival instincts, and gearing up for whatever the coming year decides to throw my way.  BRING IT!

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